Post by Killa on Jun 17, 2008 13:37:07 GMT -6
So I had a dream about this ages ago and thought I'd make it into a storry 
Another Vampire story
It still has a LONGLONGLONG way to go.
(I.e I still need to write the plot for it hah )
But here's the first draft of the introoo
{ . V e n o m o u s [/b][/u]
I drew my school jumper tighter around myself as an icy gust of wind swept against me. Making a note to self to bring a coat next time I had detention after school in the winter, I hurried on down the empty, dark streets. I vaguely thought that it could be dangerous for a 15 year old girl to be wandering alone at night, but snorted to myself and gladly pushed the thought aside. Nothing was going to happen, Bricket was about the most dull, monotonous village in the history of existence – the most exciting event that had happened here was when the vicar of the nearby church had turned out to be gay – and that had been a good 5 years ago. But still, something niggled away at the back of my mind that something was different tonight. I frowned to myself “Harlow, you’re letting your imagination run away with you” I told myself firmly, but nonetheless, quickened my pace. The night was so cold that the hairs on my pale arms were standing on end, and getting number every second. My pale skin was the main reason I didn’t really fit in at school -that and my long gangly limbs, my insistence to make a fool out of myself whenever in a public place and my balance that point blank refused to do its job. Not to mention my incredibly poor eyesight. Even though I now had contact lenses, I had never quite lived down the time I had had to wear my old Harry Potter style spectacles to school – I probably still had the bruises. Another burst of frozen air flew at me and I contemplated calling home. The phone was already in my hand when I remembered my dad was at work, and my mum had friends over. I didn’t want to interrupt her; it was so rare for her to have a night off from my 4 – year – old brother, Ben. I slowly put it back in my bag and continued walking. I passed the church, shivers running down my spine as my sparkling cerulean eyes fell upon the gravestones – even more haunting in the moonlight. I reached the alleyway which was my least favourite part of the journey. Even though I knew it was harmless, it still made me uneasy. I reluctantly turned into it, my heartbeat increasing with my pace. I didn’t know I was being followed. The alleyway was short, and I could see the end within a few minutes. I breathed a sigh of relief. It happened in half a second. Something hard, cold and heavy slammed into me from behind, sending me flying forwards. I hit my head on the brick wall on the right side of the alley and slipped to the ground. My head throbbing, I slowly lifted a shaking hand to it. But there was no blood. I stared, terrified, out into the woods opposite me, looking for my attacker. The black trees were burry and unfocused, and it took me a moment to realise my contact lenses had been knocked out of my eyes. I scrambled around on the floor for them, and felt a surge of relief as I located them and rammed them back into my eyes, ignoring the dust and dirt that covered them. And there he was. I was not too terrified to notice how inhumanely beautiful he was. He towered over me as I lay, in agony on the floor, his hair blonder, paler than mine. His skin was like porcelain; it glowed in the darkness, brighter than the moon and stars, and showed his firm muscles underneath. His features looked as if they had been carved by angels, and I wondered dimly if I had died and gone to heaven, then I remembered if I was in heaven I would not be in so much pain. But what really terrified me were his eyes. They were the colours of rubies, and stood out against his ivory skin. They were wild -with what looked like thirst- and each pupil was the size of a large coin. A thrill of fear raced through me, as the stranger pulled me up roughly by the arm, I let out a yelp of pain as I heard the bone snap as if it had been made of wood. Every fibre in my being screamed at me to run, but I was entranced by his eyes. Breaking out of my reverie, I tried to scream for help, but his hand was already over my mouth, colder than the night and the icy wind combined, suffocating me. He thrust out his arms and I felt a rib crack as I hurtled through the air once again, the wall crunching into my back as I slammed into it. The whole world was distorted and blurred now, and it had nothing to do with the fact my contact lenses were a few metres from me. I could feel my life slipping away. I wanted the torture to stop. Everywhere was burning, I was going to die. I could feel something hot and wet rushing from me head. Blood. Finally, the man lunged in for the fatal blow. I felt two sharp needles plunge into my neck and this time screamed in pain. The agony was so intense I could not even think. I didn’t try to fight him off me; I just wanted it to cease, to be over. My insides writhed as if they were on fire. And finally, I felt myself going numb. I closed my eyes and gladly succumbed to the dark. [/color]
Psst she's not dead ahaha
xD
It's not proofread or anything. any suggestions ?
Another Vampire story
It still has a LONGLONGLONG way to go.
(I.e I still need to write the plot for it hah )
But here's the first draft of the introoo
{ . V e n o m o u s [/b][/u]
I drew my school jumper tighter around myself as an icy gust of wind swept against me. Making a note to self to bring a coat next time I had detention after school in the winter, I hurried on down the empty, dark streets. I vaguely thought that it could be dangerous for a 15 year old girl to be wandering alone at night, but snorted to myself and gladly pushed the thought aside. Nothing was going to happen, Bricket was about the most dull, monotonous village in the history of existence – the most exciting event that had happened here was when the vicar of the nearby church had turned out to be gay – and that had been a good 5 years ago. But still, something niggled away at the back of my mind that something was different tonight. I frowned to myself “Harlow, you’re letting your imagination run away with you” I told myself firmly, but nonetheless, quickened my pace. The night was so cold that the hairs on my pale arms were standing on end, and getting number every second. My pale skin was the main reason I didn’t really fit in at school -that and my long gangly limbs, my insistence to make a fool out of myself whenever in a public place and my balance that point blank refused to do its job. Not to mention my incredibly poor eyesight. Even though I now had contact lenses, I had never quite lived down the time I had had to wear my old Harry Potter style spectacles to school – I probably still had the bruises. Another burst of frozen air flew at me and I contemplated calling home. The phone was already in my hand when I remembered my dad was at work, and my mum had friends over. I didn’t want to interrupt her; it was so rare for her to have a night off from my 4 – year – old brother, Ben. I slowly put it back in my bag and continued walking. I passed the church, shivers running down my spine as my sparkling cerulean eyes fell upon the gravestones – even more haunting in the moonlight. I reached the alleyway which was my least favourite part of the journey. Even though I knew it was harmless, it still made me uneasy. I reluctantly turned into it, my heartbeat increasing with my pace. I didn’t know I was being followed. The alleyway was short, and I could see the end within a few minutes. I breathed a sigh of relief. It happened in half a second. Something hard, cold and heavy slammed into me from behind, sending me flying forwards. I hit my head on the brick wall on the right side of the alley and slipped to the ground. My head throbbing, I slowly lifted a shaking hand to it. But there was no blood. I stared, terrified, out into the woods opposite me, looking for my attacker. The black trees were burry and unfocused, and it took me a moment to realise my contact lenses had been knocked out of my eyes. I scrambled around on the floor for them, and felt a surge of relief as I located them and rammed them back into my eyes, ignoring the dust and dirt that covered them. And there he was. I was not too terrified to notice how inhumanely beautiful he was. He towered over me as I lay, in agony on the floor, his hair blonder, paler than mine. His skin was like porcelain; it glowed in the darkness, brighter than the moon and stars, and showed his firm muscles underneath. His features looked as if they had been carved by angels, and I wondered dimly if I had died and gone to heaven, then I remembered if I was in heaven I would not be in so much pain. But what really terrified me were his eyes. They were the colours of rubies, and stood out against his ivory skin. They were wild -with what looked like thirst- and each pupil was the size of a large coin. A thrill of fear raced through me, as the stranger pulled me up roughly by the arm, I let out a yelp of pain as I heard the bone snap as if it had been made of wood. Every fibre in my being screamed at me to run, but I was entranced by his eyes. Breaking out of my reverie, I tried to scream for help, but his hand was already over my mouth, colder than the night and the icy wind combined, suffocating me. He thrust out his arms and I felt a rib crack as I hurtled through the air once again, the wall crunching into my back as I slammed into it. The whole world was distorted and blurred now, and it had nothing to do with the fact my contact lenses were a few metres from me. I could feel my life slipping away. I wanted the torture to stop. Everywhere was burning, I was going to die. I could feel something hot and wet rushing from me head. Blood. Finally, the man lunged in for the fatal blow. I felt two sharp needles plunge into my neck and this time screamed in pain. The agony was so intense I could not even think. I didn’t try to fight him off me; I just wanted it to cease, to be over. My insides writhed as if they were on fire. And finally, I felt myself going numb. I closed my eyes and gladly succumbed to the dark. [/color]
Psst she's not dead ahaha
xD
It's not proofread or anything. any suggestions ?
